Thursday, April 10, 2014

FUIF Hill Repeats

I was having a pretty decent day until about 4:30pm. Then it unraveled when I got some news. At first, I ignored the usual reaction and string of emotions, and just tried to tell myself that I was ok. Turns out, I'm not ok.

I'm angry. I mean A.N.G.R.Y. I am so fucking pissed at infertility. It takes so much. It hurts so much.

I went to my therapy session, and vented a lot of it out, but I still left feeling pissed as all hell. I knew there was only one thing that would help: an ass-kicking, pavement-pounding run. When I got home from therapy, I got myself situated to do my PIO shot, but first geared up. The plan: jab my ass with an inch and a half needle at 8:30pm, and then go out and run hill repeats.


I decided to dedicate the run to all of the Dreamers and anyone who knows the pain of infertility. Coda came along and helped me. We went out for our warm-up mile, and from the first stride we were both on a mission and full of fury. I ran each hill repeat with a different aspect of IF in mind, and when I got to the end of the interval I shouted "FUIF!!"

  1. Hill Repeat 1 (60 seconds) - Infertility in general - FUIF!!
  2. Hill Repeat 2 (60 seconds) - All the BFNs - FUIF!!
  3. Hill Repeat 3 (60 seconds) - All the painful CD1s - FUIF!!
  4. Hill Repeat 4 (120 seconds) - Chickin, Petey Nugget & DH <3 - FUIF!!!!!!!
  5. Hill Repeat 5 (120 seconds) - Becky, Baby & DH, who are in my prayers <3 - FUIF!!!
  6. Hill Repeat 6 (120 seconds) - The Dreamers - FUIF!!!
  7. Hill Repeat 7 (60 seconds) - All of the losses (including our arrested embryos who never got a chance) - FUIF!!!!!
  8. Hill Repeat 8 (60 seconds) - All of the broken dreams - FUIF!!!
  9. Hill Repeat 9 (60 seconds) - All of the countless sacrifices for a chance at this dream - FUIF!!!!
I have to say that I actually feel better. And I can't think of a better way to get the muscle moving after my PIO shot ;) 

And on a humorous note, I left the house with the intention of pounding the shit out of the pavement. A half mile into the warm-up, I found myself turning back towards the house because I had to take a... errr... potty break... LOL!!


  1. So sorry about the crappy news yesterday. That always hurts. Sounds like you had an awesome, and very therapeutic run! I am so excited for you ninja reunion this weekend! Everything crossed for you! EEK! <3

  2. FU IF!!!!!!! See? I told you it feels good to yell that when you need to! Love you lady, and I seriously am so excited for your ninja reunion, I'm praying so hard for you! <3

    1. My only regret was that I couldn't actually scream it for fear that the neighbors would call the cops on me! LOL! But I said it full voice and from the belly amidst the gasping. That hill is a meany!!

  3. Thank you for devoting a hill run to me and Petey!! <3 (and LOL at the potty break)

    1. <3 That was my longest and hardest interval. I wanted to turn back at 90 seconds, but just kept going. There was something purifying about the whole workout, but especially that interval. Love you, dear!