I'm angry. I mean A.N.G.R.Y. I am so fucking pissed at infertility. It takes so much. It hurts so much.
I went to my therapy session, and vented a lot of it out, but I still left feeling pissed as all hell. I knew there was only one thing that would help: an ass-kicking, pavement-pounding run. When I got home from therapy, I got myself situated to do my PIO shot, but first geared up. The plan: jab my ass with an inch and a half needle at 8:30pm, and then go out and run hill repeats.
I decided to dedicate the run to all of the Dreamers and anyone who knows the pain of infertility. Coda came along and helped me. We went out for our warm-up mile, and from the first stride we were both on a mission and full of fury. I ran each hill repeat with a different aspect of IF in mind, and when I got to the end of the interval I shouted "FUIF!!"
- Hill Repeat 1 (60 seconds) - Infertility in general - FUIF!!
- Hill Repeat 2 (60 seconds) - All the BFNs - FUIF!!
- Hill Repeat 3 (60 seconds) - All the painful CD1s - FUIF!!
- Hill Repeat 4 (120 seconds) - Chickin, Petey Nugget & DH <3 - FUIF!!!!!!!
- Hill Repeat 5 (120 seconds) - Becky, Baby & DH, who are in my prayers <3 - FUIF!!!
- Hill Repeat 6 (120 seconds) - The Dreamers - FUIF!!!
- Hill Repeat 7 (60 seconds) - All of the losses (including our arrested embryos who never got a chance) - FUIF!!!!!
- Hill Repeat 8 (60 seconds) - All of the broken dreams - FUIF!!!
- Hill Repeat 9 (60 seconds) - All of the countless sacrifices for a chance at this dream - FUIF!!!!