PUPO!!!

We have officially been reunited with our beautiful Ninja :) The transfer was quite an experience! They brought our embryo into the room in an incubator. We saw the embryologist load Ninja into the catheter, she pointed him out in the tube, and then handed him over to the doctor. We watched on the screen for a little white speck. I saw it! That was our Ninja! And in true ninja fashion, he went so quickly that John didn't see. 

I had to take a progesterone suppository this morning at 11:00, and then we reported to the clinic at 1:15. I had to fill my bladder. I knew it wouldn't take much... I only drank 8 ounces. I ended up having to empty my bladder twice because the nurses said I was too full! I also tried out the laser acupuncture and listened to the Circle + Bloom frozen embryo transfer program. 

Before that, we went to church this morning. It is Palm Sunday, so John picked up one for each of us. Then we noticed that one of them was actually two fused together!!! If that's not a sign, I don't know what is!!!

Hang on tight, Ninja! I'll do my best to remain calm, positive and stress-free for the next nine days. All you have to do is pick a spot that you like and snuggle in tight :) I love you!!!

We are so proud of our Ninja :)

Final Lining Check

It's good!! 6.5, Type III, blood work is good. TRANSFER IS ON FOR TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm continuing with my regular meds - PIO, Estrace, doxycycline, medrol. I will do one applicator of Metrogel in a few minutes, and a progesterone suppository tomorrow at 11:00. We are to report to our clinic at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon.

SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Frostie Ninja will no longer be a frosty in a matter of hours!! Wish us luck!!!!!

FUIF Hill Repeats

I was having a pretty decent day until about 4:30pm. Then it unraveled when I got some news. At first, I ignored the usual reaction and string of emotions, and just tried to tell myself that I was ok. Turns out, I'm not ok.

I'm angry. I mean A.N.G.R.Y. I am so fucking pissed at infertility. It takes so much. It hurts so much.

I went to my therapy session, and vented a lot of it out, but I still left feeling pissed as all hell. I knew there was only one thing that would help: an ass-kicking, pavement-pounding run. When I got home from therapy, I got myself situated to do my PIO shot, but first geared up. The plan: jab my ass with an inch and a half needle at 8:30pm, and then go out and run hill repeats.

Best.idea.ever.

I decided to dedicate the run to all of the Dreamers and anyone who knows the pain of infertility. Coda came along and helped me. We went out for our warm-up mile, and from the first stride we were both on a mission and full of fury. I ran each hill repeat with a different aspect of IF in mind, and when I got to the end of the interval I shouted "FUIF!!"

1. Hill Repeat 1 (60 seconds) - Infertility in general - FUIF!!
2. Hill Repeat 2 (60 seconds) - All the BFNs - FUIF!!
3. Hill Repeat 3 (60 seconds) - All the painful CD1s - FUIF!!
4. Hill Repeat 4 (120 seconds) - Chickin, Petey Nugget & DH <3 - FUIF!!!!!!!
5. Hill Repeat 5 (120 seconds) - Becky, Baby & DH, who are in my prayers <3 - FUIF!!!
6. Hill Repeat 6 (120 seconds) - The Dreamers - FUIF!!!
7. Hill Repeat 7 (60 seconds) - All of the losses (including our arrested embryos who never got a chance) - FUIF!!!!!
8. Hill Repeat 8 (60 seconds) - All of the broken dreams - FUIF!!!
9. Hill Repeat 9 (60 seconds) - All of the countless sacrifices for a chance at this dream - FUIF!!!!

I have to say that I actually feel better. And I can't think of a better way to get the muscle moving after my PIO shot ;) 

And on a humorous note, I left the house with the intention of pounding the shit out of the pavement. A half mile into the warm-up, I found myself turning back towards the house because I had to take a... errr... potty break... LOL!!

PIO & Co.

The first PIO shot is tonight - as in 23 minutes away! I am a sicko in that I have a strange curiosity about pain. I want to know what it feels like and have found out that as long as I know how it hurts that I don't fear it as much. I think this probably explains my marathon addiction too :) After my first marathon, it hurt so much that I didn't know if I'd ever do it again. But then a year later, I decided what the hell, I'm just gonna try it again. Next thing I knew, I was totally hooked!

That's not to say that I'm going to like getting IM shots. But in this case... I welcome the opportunity to inflict pain upon myself for the next several weeks if it means that I get a baby at the end. And not just any baby... FROSTIE NINJA!!!

I'm so truly excited and hopeful about our reunion. I had a little talk with Frostie Ninja today while I was 'visiting' her at the clinic. I told her that we have to work together and both try our best. I'll do the best I can to stay calm and relaxed and prepare the perfect home for her. I hope she tries her best to grab on tight and snuggle in. I know she will... I really think we can do it!!

I'll be back to update this post after my shot. I'm going to attempt to do this myself, but will call Johnny if I can't manage on my own. Wish me luck!!!

*************************************************************

I'm back and happy to report that self-administration of PIO is not that bad :D I did it!! 

I totally screwed up the needles when drawing the PIO up... I drew it up with the 22g, and then switched to the 18g thinking that was the needle I was supposed to inject with. As soon as I took the cap off I panicked big time!! Thankfully that moment of doubt prompted me to go to the Dreamers and say, hey is this right?!? (In much more decorated verbiage, lol) They told me that I switched the needles. THANK GOD!! So I put the 22g back on and it seemed so much smaller after seeing the 18g!!

NINJA RUN!!!

I had been dreaming of doing a "Ninja Run" ever since our little ninja existed. Well, today I DID IT!!! Coda & I ran the course from our house to the clinic and back home again. It was so awesome to literally run to Frostie Ninja :D

A little about the pictures:

1. Left 1: New Shoes! Aren't they pretty?? I just got them on Friday night. They were long overdue... I had put off the trip to the running store because it was too depressing. I didn't feel like I had earned it. But after completing the Team FUIF March Challenge, I rewarded myself!
2. Left 2: Before the run in what is coming together to be my SuperCici costume. I plan to wear the shirt & skirt along with a cape and a few other accessories for the Superhero Half Marathon.
3. Left 3: That building behind me? Yeah, Frostie Ninja is in there!!! Not for much longer though!! ONE WEEK TILL TRANSFER!!!
4. Middle Left: Me & my favorite running buddy visiting Frostie Ninja!
5. Middle Right: We made it home! Mocha is thankful that I didn't drag her along ;)
6. Right 3: Coda is soooo tired :)
7. Right 2: Look who just ran 10.6 miles for the first time! Good job, Coda!!
8. Right 1: 10.67 miles in 2:07:25 - woohoo!!
9. Middle: Me & Coda feeling proud!
10. Bottom: The elevation map... that was one mean hill!!

I literally shouted out loud, "FU IF!!!" after every mile. It felt so good! 

ONE WEEK TO GO!

And let me tell you, it's gonna fly by! I have three very intense days coming up at work. Two are 'instrument sampling days' where I will teach almost 200 third graders how to make a sound with a clarinet. That means that I have to change 200 reeds and sanitize the mouth piece 200 times. Plus, tolerate the honking and squeaking. That will be on Monday and Wednesday. Then on Saturday, I have honors band. I am the event coordinator, so it's been super busy getting ready for that. The day of the event will be nonstop. I'll be on my feet from 7:00 in the morning until 4:00 in the afternoon, and lucky if I get to take a minute to sit down with a slice of pizza.

On top of it all, I have to get ready for this little old FET ;) I'm starting PIO on Tuesday - just two days away!! And I have my final lining check on Saturday. I'll have to go in to the clinic at 6:00am before going to honors band.

After getting through that, I'm sure I will just collapse. The next day, Sunday, I will go in for the transfer. Thankfully, I have spring break the following week. I plan to catch up on a lot of rest!

Transfer Schedule

We are officially scheduled for our transfer....

SQUA-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

::happy dance:: ::happy dance:: ::happy dance::

Here's the schedule:

April 8 start PIO, doxycycline, medrol, and decrease Estrace
April 12 final lining check
April 13 NINJA TRANSFER!!!
April 15 blood work
April 22 beta


Originally, they wanted to schedule us for April 10th with Dr. Evil (boo hissssss), but I asked if we could schedule for after April 12th. I'm the event coordinator for honors band that day. It is always a stressful, labor intensive and exhausting day. Thankfully, we are able to do the transfer the next day AND with another doctor.

Getting all of that information made me feel a bit sick to my stomach at first... But now, I'm just feeling excited!! Squa-weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!